Summer Staff...When in Doubt, Peace and Pout!

HELLOOO World!!
I am home!

Actually I got home Sunday but I just couldn't bring myself to the computer to write this post.

How am I suppose to put into words the most amazing 3 weeks of my life?

I can't.

I can't even describe it in my own head because I am still trying to process it all.

Oh how the Lord is GOOD!

I have been simply blown away by him.

Lets start from the beginning.

We all have seasons of harvest and seasons of drought, and to be real honest I was pretty dry going into camp.

I knew that I would have a great time but I just didn't want to leave my home and my loved ones for 3 weeks.

I couldn't bring myself to spend time with the Lord and I was just running on empty.

Little did I know what I had in store [no pun intended].

Jesus met me where I was, sweetly broke my heart and loved on me in such intimate ways!

Whether is was from the community of strong believers that I lived and worked with

 (24 girls, 24 boys, 3 coordinators, interns, or assign team),

the  beautiful landscape and view of God's creation,

the "get real" talks with the girls,

or just basking in the light of the Lord,

God just wrapped me in his arms.

He did this especially through the sweet girls I worked with in the store.

I have never felt so challenged, encouraged, or loved in my entire life.

We asked each other hard questions and what our hearts really looked like.

We were silly but serious,

Honest but respectful,

we laughed and cried.

We [mainly I] messed up [a lot] but we poured out father's grace over one another.

I really saw how important community was.

There is a difference in living in a growing Christian community and living with someone who only believes.

We need to be challenged and help accountable by our christian friends but we also need to be loved by them and accepted through God's lens of Grace!

Another awesome thing about my time at The Gap was the

Gettin' Juicy 2K11!!

This was the special time I had with all my summer staff sisters.

We had "girl talk" once a week but it also happened constantly throughout the 21 days.

We all jumped in from the very first email**

 **yeah ladies you all know which one that was ;)**

and GOT REAL,

or as Jess says it BROUGHT IT!

We opened up and shared the real struggles in our lives and what our heart really looks like.

I often find myself covering up little spots of my heart that I don't want people to know about because I am embarrassed or ashamed of them.

But by me seeking out my sisters in Christ I was able to heal and grow from those things.

A third thing that I loved at camp was my quiet times.

I woke up every morning and just sat with Jesus.

There is something about starting your day off with the peace maker that just gives you a peaceful day!

I was able to read his word and write it on my heart in order to live it better throughout the day.

The hard thing is taking that home with me.

I am a busy person at home and find it hard to spend time with Jesus everyday but I need and WANT to!!!!!!

I love seeing the cool things he points out to me in scripture.

He has a funny way of showing me exactly what I needed to hear.

[and that is on a coincidence].

During my time at Windy Gap I learned a lot of things about...

• surrendering
• making Jesus #1
• my need for the cross
• my need for community
• putting away pride
• trust
• JESUS' ABOUNDING LOVE FOR ME!!

This is only to name a few because I could go on for hours.

I read this really cool quote in Jesus Calling one morning while there and it is the perfect moto and life quote for my right now!

"Do not miss the JOY OF MY PRESENCE by carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders"

Sweet Lord,

Help me to stop trying to carry the world on my shoulders.

Oh how I fail miserably.

Allow me to be filled with your joy and let it completely overflow.

Help me to surrender my doubts, worries and pride in order to be filled with your peace!

You are good My Father! So good to me.

Help me to find my contentment in the one thing that is ALWAYS good and ALWAYS steady.

I praise you for my sweet time at Windy Gap,for my 300 teenage friend's lives that decided to give their lives to you, and the amazing family of summer staff that you blessed me with!

Most importantly, I cannot thank you enough for the cross by which I am made whole and pure.

Thank you my sweet Lord.

Help me to call to your all the day long.

With Love From My Father,

Diane Elizabeth

I Need You To Love Me

 Yay for Post #2!

I always feel a bit overwhelmed when I think about trying to organize my thoughts into writing but I think when I just start it comes out pretty good on its own. [mustbeaGodthing]

So today I spent a wonderful afternoon with one of my sweet sweet friends. I love our long talks about our lives now and laughing about old times. She is such an encourager, listener, and strong woman of the Lord. She gives me the best advice! Especially today. We were talking about how when we are at school we are consumed by rules and to do lists. We try to fix everything on our own by having it all organized out and getting everything done.  I am the queen of doing things because I have to and filling my day with "things to do". When I complete the tasks I have had planned I feel accomplished and at peace with my successful day. Sometimes I forget that I am not in control of my life and that I cannot fix everything. This comes into play with my walk with the Lord. I catch myself spending time with the Lord because that is what I am suppose to do. However, the motivation for spending time with the Lord is all wrong. I can walk the walk and talk the talk but how do I get that wanting to spend time with the Lord everyday?

This is where her advice comes in to play. She told me "At the end of the day it all comes down to the Lord wantings us to Love, how we love the Lord, ourselves, and others around us." Love. That's it. I am saved from eternal damnation only by LOVE. I think it is so easy for me to let this become dull and passionless in my life.

John 3:16 "For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrated his great LOVE for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

1 John 3:1 "See how great a LOVE the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him."

 

He loves me so much. It sounds cliche that I am saying this but its so true. All he wants is from me is to Love him back and to love others around me so that they can see his love through me.

I was driving home today and for some reason I randomly changed to one of the christian radio stations. The song that came on was I Need you to Love Me. I love this song because my sweet friend mentioned earlier actually sang this song for a chorus thing at my school. It was such a coincidence that this song was one at the exact moment I changed that station. I love seeing the Lord do things like this. He is constantly wooing me back to him. How special! 

Why? Why are you still here with me?
Didn’t you see what I’ve done?
In my shame I want to run,
And hide myself.
Yeah, but it’s here I see the truth,
I don’t deserve you.
But I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me
I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing you away from me.
I just never saw how you
Could cherish me.

Cause you’re a God who has all things,
And still you want ME.

 [Barlow Girl]

I want to spend time with him because I love him and he is loving me back in a way that I could never wrap my mind around. How cool is that. The Creator of the Universe LOVES ME!

With Love From My Father,

Diane Elizabeth